The ‘golden years?’ Hah!


If I ever meet the idiot who coined the phrase “the golden years” he is going to think he is in Hollywood accepting an Oscar, because my plans are to pull a Will Smith on him — a real Will Smith.

My plans are stronger than Smith’s because I plan to knock him slap out if I can.

There is nothing about these “golden years” that are any better than any I’ve already lived. I have been there and done that.

I am not a negative person, but in all reality I have seen nothing in the winter of life to hoot about.

It is a near continuous chore of dealing with the check engine light.

Smith slapped comedian Chris Rock for a comment the comedian made about his wife at the Oscars.

A slap to a man is supposed to be the ultimate insult.

Waking up flat on one’s back with one hell of a headache and wondering what happened would send a stronger message to the recipient, would it not?

The so-called “golden years” are repeated days of doctor appointments, dealing with the pharmacist over medications and more often than not, hospitalizations.

Does that sound exciting?

We are at the age that some of us can afford to do what we have always wanted to do, but our health and age will not allow it.

A boat, a motorcycle, a camper appear to many of us in a dream as the “golden years” set in, yet the reality of it all simply will not allow it.

We in those “golden years” know our limitations and move on in our lives dealing with it.

As young folks we made a lot of mistakes, but now these “golden years” do not even allow that.

It is not very smart to even think of sitting on a bucket with a cane pole and a can of worms for a day of fishing, because one never knows when he might not be able to get up.

We become more careful in everything we do.

Why could we not be born as experienced individuals and just regress as the years go by?

Many things become less important as one grows older, but what does not change is one’s desire to do things he once did with ease.

It becomes difficult to deal with.

The move Smith made in slapping the man at the Oscar’s banquet was obviously a first-degree move, because he had it all planned out once the words came out of the comedian’s mouth.

I feel the same way about that character who calls them the “golden years.”

Move over, Will, let me show you how to really slap someone, Southern style.

William Holloman is a staff writer for the Mount Olive Tribune. He can be reached at


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