Let’s take a break from politics and talk about the weather.
Fall began Wednesday, which means 90-degree days are behind us. We’ll soon don sweaters and rake leaves. And people will buy pumpkin spice coffee, pumpkin spice candles and pumpkin spice toothpaste (sadly, a real thing).
Before long we’ll have pumpkin spice coleslaw and pumpkin spice motor oil.
After a hot summer, it’s easy to understand why people are excited by the prospect of cooler weather. But there’s something sad about summer’s end.
As opposed to spring when everything outside comes to life, autumn brings a symbolic death to much of the natural world.
Spring brings ever-lengthening days while fall brings the opposite. And the thought of darkness at 5 o’clock is a little depressing.
Spring and summer bring sweet corn, butter beans, juicy peaches and watermelon. In contrast, fall brings a clear signal that the party is over: Candy corn.
Regina, who adores fall, usually buys candy corn as soon as it hits the shelves. She displays it in a jar on our kitchen counter. With absolutely no warning I walk in perfectly happy, pretending that summer will never end. And there it is, sneering at me, that jar of candy corn acting as a flashing neon sign announcing the end of the most wonderful time of the year.
Candy corn is not only the most depressing candy on the market, it’s also the worst tasting confection since licorice.
By the way, Brach’s, the candy maker, once offered pumpkin spice candy corn. The fact that it flopped renews my hope in humanity.
But that hope is tempered by the existence of pumpkin spice dental dog treats.
OK, I’m being too negative. Fall really is beautiful. It’s nice to put on a jacket that first cool morning. It’s nice to save money on air conditioning.
And candy corn aside, fall does offer its own culinary treats. Apples seem to be better in the fall. Barbecue tastes better when it’s cold outside. And yes, pumpkin pie is delicious.
But as much as I want to be positive about fall, it’s not fun having Halloween shoved in our faces long before it gets here. It’s still over a month away and we’ve already been subjected to Halloween ads and store displays for weeks.
We’ll be surrounded by Christmas trees long before Thanksgiving. And not to overstate the point, anyone who puts up a Christmas tree the first week of November is Hitler.
No, not really. It’s just that in our divided country I’ve become used to everyone calling each other Hitler.
It would be nice to just enjoy the cool days and the colorful trees without all the Halloween hype and the premature pressure to decorate for a holiday that’s still three months away.
So let’s ignore the hype for now. Let’s hold off on decorating for Halloween. Let’s keep those Christmas lights in the closet.
And whatever else you do, don’t buy pumpkin spice dental dog treats.
Contact Bart Adams at email@example.com.